On Monday I realised my life long dream of seeing Conor Oberst play live. It was hands down, without a doubt, 100 percent the best thing I have ever done/seen/experienced. I loved every second of it. Its funny though, you know when you're really excited about something and you spend so long looking forward to it, that when its over you're left with a sort of "now what?" feeling? Well, I have that but on a much bigger scale. Now what? Not just with this week, or this month, or this year, but now what do I do with my life? I guess just seeing someone that has become such an indescribable influence on my life, and how I act and think and live, doing something he really loves, and doing it well makes me think: now what? When am I going to find something that matters that much? When am I going to step up and stop being so lackadaisical about my life? When am I going to finally figure out what I want to do, and then do it no matter what everyone else has to say or think? Conor was talking about one of the songs he wrote about how some people always need to have a reason for everything, and how he doesn't really believe in reasons (which is something I've said for a long time too) at least not for every small act. We don't need hundreds of little reasons for everything, just one for everything. He talked about how we have once chance here to make a reason for ourselves, and our lives and that we have to hold on to that. I need to find my reason. My real one. I'll let you know when I do. Or maybe, I wont have to.
