Last night I had the strangest dream.

It really bothered me. It was awful.

But as bizzarre and messed up as it was I think it illustrated something to me. Sometimes you have let go of something that makes you happy because it might be killing you. (with sandwhich bags, no less.)

There are somethings in my life that I really enjoy. A good example of this is planning my future wedding (in detail) and naming my future children, and generally attaching myself to things that dont exist yet. Thats not a good thing to do. For instance--if you didnt have a car, and someone gave you mercedes, you would be ecstatic right? Yeah...unless it was black, and you had planned on silver...or you wanted leather seats instead of cloth...or you had a Ferrari in mind. You see?

I know whatever happens I will love my life, and things will be great, but I dont want to taint that by falling in love with the details that might not work out. I dont know if I'm making any sense anymore. But maybe I should try to appreciate today. Right now. Just as it is.