Yesterday night, I did something I havent done in a very very long time...Im not proud of it either.
...I took Nyquil. I drank about half a cup of nyquil around 9 last night, and consequently woke up just a few minutes ago today. I felt awful though. I still feel the wierd lingering effects of the Nyquil, and my head still hurts, but Im slightly better, aside from getting very dizzy every time I stand up.
I took the Nyquil, not to refuel my past Nyquil addiction, but because I felt genuinely sick last night, fever and all. I havent been that kind of sick in a while, and when I am sick I dont take anything for it, except maybe a glass of water and enough vitamin C to more than fill the reccomended daily percentage for the state of California. That wasnt working though.
Hence the delving into the OTC medicine. Im so ashamed. Ok, not too ashamed, but still. I dont like taking that sort of stuff anymore.
To kind of switch subjects (I'm good at doing that...mahahaher...) I was reading some more of Velvet Elvis yesterday during church (I know Im an awful sinner...this will come out later) and the part I was reading was about guilt and shame--and how we carry around this image of what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to act and who we should be. How we carry around all the expectations from what other people want us to be, that we have tremendous guilt and shame because we arent living up that. We have this person that God has created us to be, but its become distorted and is full of all these other...people. We have this image of superwhatever built up in our heads, and its killing us because we cant live up to it.
So I have to kill SuperNikky. I have to take her outback, and end her pathctic existance.
This could take awhile.
1 comment:
ew. I hope you are careful to deal with the blood.
I really need to read that book. The more you tell me about it, the more I am certain it's a good book for me to read.
And now, I need to go sleep so that school will be something I can deal with. :)
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