It made my head ache. It was that that great.

Today found itself midwest gray missing southern sky blue. Maybe that was just me. 

I always dislike the past couple days after an event (in this case, ABC-I) because it takes me a while to get used to having nothing to do and no one around. It takes me a while to get used to the nothing. It sounds horrible, and a little more than slightly depressing, but thats only because it is. This is why something had to give. This is why, as terrifying, and uncertain and sad it will be for Jaymin and I to move, it will be so worth it. It will be something new. Something with purpose and people. There isn't much of that here right now. 

Although to be completely honest, I think ABC-I worked on me this year. I'm only a couple credits short of my degree from there, I am trying to see if it would work out that I could go there this fall semester to finish before moving with Jaymin. I just don't know how the finances would work out, seeing as though I don't have any right now. It would certainly make my part of the move easier, to already have condensed most of my stuff and have it only a couple hours away. Plus, its something I've been wanting to do for awhile now, I was just afraid that I would be asked to stay here, that my dad or my grandparents would want me to stay, and that I wouldnt be able to say no. Silly reasoning, I know, but its a big part of why I left to begin with. I hate disappointing people. 

Just something I've been thinking about. 

I've been thinking about too many things recently, and I dont always know what to do with these manic thoughts spinning behind my eyes, so it helps to vent some of them, sometimes. I kind of feel like my brain only has two settings, swirling mess, or vapid vacuum. I'm either thinking too much or not at all, and I wish there was a medium setting. haha. 

I hope everything turns out alright. I am sure it will.